"I don't know, Heather...I know werewolves and vampires but you're neither."

Maurice plopped down in the folding chair. The ancient moldy weave instantly gave out and he let out a yelp as his ass landed in the grass and his knees all but hit him in the face.

"Shit! Shit! Dammit!" The vampire leaned out and trited to grab the exposed tree root to start heaving himself back upright.